Friday, January 31, 2014

One Month and a Gift

Exactly one month ago, I was leaving the hospital. Empty. Forever has passed in this time even though my world has stopped. Yesterday on my one month anniversary of becoming the mom to an angel, my dad called me because he had just found out about Alaska. I didn't think that I would find peace in this conversation. If we had caller ID on our home phone, I probably wouldn't have answered for anyone other than Brandon, but talking to my dad for the first time in months helped my day suck a little less. Actually, this was the best conversation I have had with him ever.

My dad said that he didn't know what to say (admitting this is so much better than saying nothing), but then he said, "blink of an eye and we'll all be at the same rodeo." And he told me how much he loves all of us and how much he loves Alaska, too. Hearing him say her name was a gift. Finally, he said, "I say my prayers every night for all of you. I'm very consistent about it."

Most phone calls are uncomfortable for me, and the rare conversations with my dad over the years have been no exception. Somehow, though, he said all the right things and helped heal my heart just a bit.