Tuesday, January 7, 2014

conversations after loss as the world moves on

Last week I found out that my baby had died.
Last week I had my baby.
Last week I became the mother of a dead child.

"I don't know what to say."
I know.
Neither do I.

"How are you?"
I don't know.

*silence, avoidance, belly checks*
This really happened.
I will not pretend that I'm ok.
I can't smile to make you more comfortable.

"I'm so sorry."
I know.
Me too.
Thank you.

"It happened for a reason."

"I wish there was something I could do."
I know.
Me too.
You can't.
You're here.

"I lost a baby, too."
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.

"Mom, today I told my class that our baby died."
How did that go?
"It made me feel sad."
I felt that way, too.
"Mom, I miss our baby."
So do I.
I love you.